So yesterday I may have had my first serious emotional breakdown about the upcoming trip. My best friend Hilary left for London the day before, and I think I was good at being strong for her, but as soon as she left I was completely vulnerable to my own emotions.
I went to New York City on Wednesday, and it was really eye-opening for me. For the first time, I felt that I could enjoy living somewhere else than Rhode Island. I think I'm confident enough now that I could actually survive living in a big city, maybe with the hope that I'll eventually settle down back in Rhode Island by the ocean.
When I came back home to my group of friends, minus Hilary, it was really scary for me to think about how one day soon we may not even be all coming home for the holidays, and a day not too far off, some of us may be in places like NYC and others maybe on another side of the country or in another country. I know that no matter where they are or where I am we will remain to be close friends and to be there for each other, but it's really scary because these three people right now are the only people I really and truly feel like myself around. Everything just makes more sense when we are together. I know this sounds corny and unreal, but with us it really is different. I am so grateful for the difficult times in my life that brought us all together; everything truly does happen for a reason. And, I suppose, when the time comes for us to go our separate ways, there will be reasons for that too. Hopefully, more reasons will bring us back together again, sporadically or permanently.
Today is my full day in the USA until the end of June when I am supposed to return. My bag is packed to thirty some pounds, with the help of my friends yesterday who packed my bag pretty much for me because I was too overwhelmed to actually be able to do it myself. It's amazing that when I pack for Smith, I usually end up having to unload about 10 plastic tubs worth of things, and now I'm going somewhere with only a suitcase and a backpack. While I'm not as hardcore as Thoreau, I feel a closeness with him as I embark on a journey with what I see as the essentials.
Right now, I am just concentrating on the England part of my journey--I am spending almost 3 weeks with Rachel, another friend in the Geneva program, and our friend Julie, at Rachel's aunt's house outside of Oxford. I'm looking forward to being able to spend some time in the countryside going for walks and jogs, maybe doing some reading and writing and watching movies in French to prepare for Geneva. Then on January 28th, Rachel and I will leave together for Geneva and three weeks of intense orientation before beginning classes and internships.
Today I am going to pack up the final things, give some final lingering hugs, and probably have another freak out before I go to sleep and wake up at 5 AM to leave for or 8:30 AM Logan flight. Despite how it's hip to hate America these days, I love America. I'm really going to miss it, and I hope I'll be able to show others how beautiful America can be through my example.
Kay
Today is my full day in the USA until the end of June when I am supposed to return. My bag is packed to thirty some pounds, with the help of my friends yesterday who packed my bag pretty much for me because I was too overwhelmed to actually be able to do it myself. It's amazing that when I pack for Smith, I usually end up having to unload about 10 plastic tubs worth of things, and now I'm going somewhere with only a suitcase and a backpack. While I'm not as hardcore as Thoreau, I feel a closeness with him as I embark on a journey with what I see as the essentials.
Right now, I am just concentrating on the England part of my journey--I am spending almost 3 weeks with Rachel, another friend in the Geneva program, and our friend Julie, at Rachel's aunt's house outside of Oxford. I'm looking forward to being able to spend some time in the countryside going for walks and jogs, maybe doing some reading and writing and watching movies in French to prepare for Geneva. Then on January 28th, Rachel and I will leave together for Geneva and three weeks of intense orientation before beginning classes and internships.
Today I am going to pack up the final things, give some final lingering hugs, and probably have another freak out before I go to sleep and wake up at 5 AM to leave for or 8:30 AM Logan flight. Despite how it's hip to hate America these days, I love America. I'm really going to miss it, and I hope I'll be able to show others how beautiful America can be through my example.
Kay
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